Which I’ve found beats the hell out of having hope and then getting it crushed out of you time after time. The other part comes from being in chroni... pain. It’s hard to be in a civil much less happy mood when you constantly hurt. It wears on you. Then there’s the anxiety that comes from the fallout of the illness. I.E. paying bills with little money. Trying to maintain relationships. Worries about the future and if you have one.Every now and then though, things ease up a bit. You don’t hurt so. ” avoided Emerald passively, with another rueful glance towards the mirror. “I...I just...”“You’re just not sure about your figure,” Pearl guessed correctly. “You’re wondering if you’re sexy enough.”With a half-smile, Emerald answered shyly, “Yeah...how’d you know?”A gentle chuckle escaped her sister’s throat. “Because it’s the same look I used to give myself when I would get ready for parties.”That got Emerald thinking. “Used to?”“You get confident,” shrugged Pearl. “At least, I did. Not. I have no frame of reference for you or your reactions. Just guesswork at this point. I just hope I can get better.”“OH. MY. GOD. SIR.” over articulating and punctuating every syllable. “OH. FUCK. SIR. I’m at a loss. I have no idea what to say. Well, except: THANK YOU, SIR.” You are so intense right now. Eyes are wide open and bright. A light sheen of sweat on your body. Every little bit there is shudder as an aftershock hits. All in all, I’m chalking that one up as a success.“Hold. I'm sorry."Jake's face held a furious scowl, and Heidi curled into herself, afraid that he was angry with her. "Explain that please," his voice held barely controlled fury."They found us at the park. They said if I gave them some money, they would stay away from me and Fitzroy forever. I thought it would just be easier to give it to them. I'm sorry," she looked down at her lap. She had pulled slightly away from his chest while she spoke, and Jake suddenly pulled her back snugly against him."You.
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