If I had being judged by my performance, I would have won an Oscar.Where the hell was I? Why am I here, How did I get here? Where are my clothes? What...happened to me? I had left my house yesterday morning. I remember nothing since. They gave me some old, smelly clothes to put on and took me off to an interview room. I told them everything I could think to tell them about my normal, drab, suburban life. Obviously I had no idea what they were talking about, when they mentioned the beautiful naked. And now mom’s there. Florida heat is bad enough, now mom is making it that much worse. I was drinking my coffee in my bathrobe, reading the paper. Mom had been up for a bit, prancing around the house. I headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower so I could get going. As the water was warming up, mom came in, also in her bathrobe, and asked me what I was doing. “FISHING! What does it look like? I’m going to take a shower.” Mom said she needed to take a shower because she was going. I usually meet a lot of people through Skype while having some fun. I usually spend my weekdays looking for people to Skype with through online chat room. This one evening I was really horny and was looking for someone to Skype with. After 20 mins of searching, I get a message from this guy who lives in Jaipur. He told me he is about 40 yrs old and is really into CD bottoms. We started chatting and he said why don’t we move this conversation to Skype. I said sure and we exchanged our Skype ids. ”“I thought you were married, the way you were walking together, and holding hands,” the young Policeman said.“Can you do that, marry us?” Vicky asked, jokingly.“No, Ma’am, you want a Justice of the Peace, not a Peace Officer,” he replied, smiling at her.“The woman hit by the car was walking her dog. Did anyone mention seeing one around?” Dan asked.“No mention of a dog to me,” the officer replied. “I could call the SPCA and ask them to come and look.”“No, that’s alright. We’ll look for the dog.
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