A few hours later between classes I confronted her in the library, when I did she instantly broke up with me. I kept asking for why, a reason, anythin... and all she could say was " Sorry,...he kept pressuring me, and, I kinda wanted it.".I remember she had this devil-may-care attitude about the whole situation, complete with a few shoulder shrugs and eye rolls. After a bit we both just fell into silence and stared at each other.Then abruptly with a fake smile she said, "Anything else?". "No," I. I made an appointment with her at Seven that evening hoping it would be early enough in the night to not interfere with her prime hours of making money. We both headed out to see Three Finger's connection about this kind of "screw the white bitch" and get her money to keep quiet. White women in the south who had achieved a level of success or prominence often got caught up in such webs of deceit that made them soft targets for racial blackmailing.Three Finger's buddies were a motley looking. She insists that I treat my skin well, so Iuse moisturizers and skin cremes to keep my skin soft and smooth. I havebeen for laser treatments for my facial hair, which is thinner now andeasier to manage and conceal, but still, I do not quite yet have smoothand feminine cheeks. It will not be long though.Makeup has been the hardest thing for me to accept about my femininity.It doesn't feel natural. It feels fake and contrived. But still, it is anecessity for me to wear in public, so I have. "No! I'm just saying, well... his singing sucks! I hate the whiny music he sings. It's college music at it's worse." Well honey, we are not talking about his singing. We could care less about his music. I'm talking about his body." Ashanti whispered."I like his lips!" Michelle blurted out.Ashanti and Michelle high fived each other and laughed. Amy remained quiet. Deep down she loved John's lips. She'd been staring at his mouth all night long. They were so thick, nice and full."Mmm I bet that.
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