* Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50....It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.* My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."* The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford. To maine bola aapne aisa kyun bola to ussne kaha aur kya…..Tab tak baatein karte hue landing ki time ho gayi….to ussne mere ko kaha bye dear….tc….to maine kaha tu bahot badmash hai..to maine aapna card usse diya aur 1 hi baatein kaha ki tu aab akeli nahi hai…to woh hansi aur chali gayi….ek din uska call aaya mein office mein tha…bola vivek maine bola kaun usne kaha teri bichadi hui dost maine kaha ohhh aapne kaise yaad kiya :> to kaha ki yaad to bahot dino se aa rahi thi but himmmat nahi ho paa. That's a problem. But," the clerk disappeared below the counter again and stood up with a spray bottle, "I think this is just the thing to solve that problem."Tim took the bottle the clerk handed him. "BottledBlonde," he read aloud. "Have you ever heard of spaces?"The clerk ignored Tim's snide comment and took the bottle back. "Just one spray to the face and your wife will be momentarily stunned, so to speak. You should have enough time to do whatever you need to do in order to access her. He is torn from his thoughts as his friend started crying. She tried to say something but it was totally unintelligible. He wrapped his arms around her and started to comfort her. ' Hey, hey, hey it's all right, I'm here, you'll be fine, I'm right here it's okay.' He held her in till she fell asleep and he followed suit. He awoke to her looking at him with red-ringed. Eyes. 'What's wrong?' Asked Daniel. 'I always finish too early and you never get off.' she replied. Apparently she had come to.
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