..I paid my 800 baht for the ticket, and entered the stadium. I think I was a little late, because the first fight had already started. The noise from...the music and the crowd, and the thoughts of my assignment made my head spin. I watched fight after fight, the rituals performed by the fighters, the rounds of boxing, and everything that was going on around me, but I was hardly able to notice any details -- everything seemed to blend together in a big blur of colours and noise. My heart was. The ID number years later was of no use anymore.I tell people I am a “God of Nature”, hoping the livestock aura which used to follow me around still exists giving people the notion I’m okay aroused and naked because I am just livestock. But I’m now always leery of the future, time wise, because I go it alone it seems, at least that’s the way I feel. And in all of this disjointed effort to assimilate to the now as a timeless creature I really want to again get connected to my other realm lovers. From what I recall the smell was a mixture of corn chips and cheese. She continued to mush both of her soft feet around my face making me smell every part including the stinky toe area. Every now and then I would try and pull my face away for a bit of freedom but would instantly be denied as I was jolted back under her. “Haha you’re not going anyway. We’ve only just begun” she mocked as sweat continued to engulf my face. She asked me to stick my tongue out and reluctantly I did as she was still. I'm an only child, born prematurely, which may account for my small size, and mother, Sharon Donavan, is a large, domineering woman. Ever since my earliest recollections, I've been ordered to be quiet and if I spoke and requested something or even dared to disagree with mother, I would be treated to a long harangue and made to feel inadequate. Long before school age I withdrew into my shell and said nothing and only spoke in a hushed whisper when absolutely necessary. This carried on at school.
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